I Would Have Said

If I had called before it was too late, I would have caught you up on all my latest news.  I would have heard you laugh at all the silly things that Nate and Nola do.  You would have listened to the stories that most people get tired of hearing.  Nate's potty training, Nola teething, and all the big birthday celebrations.  You would have given me some good tips on discipline toddlers... and how it's okay that sometimes I just scream... cause it is so crazy! I would have told you that marriage just gets harder after kids, and you would have said... "I know. But its all worth it." 

I am thankful for the recent memories that I have. Calling you, two years ago, after just seeing your home in Knoxville for the first time the day before, to tell you I was thrilled to be pregnant with Nate. Thanksgiving together, when you visited my house for the first time. Calling you to tell you that I was 4 months pregnant with Nola.  Checking in with my mom to hear the latest on your life.  Having dinner with your girls, at Taco Boy.  Seeing you in them, and not realizing we would all be reunited again so soon, but you wouldn't be there. 

There is a hole.  There are moments where I can't catch. my. breath. I know it's worse for all. the. people. that. loved. you. and. you. loved. EVERY. day.  How you hilariously, weaved yourself in and out of all their lives.  Your husband and best friend.  Your girls and best friends.  But you were special to me.  Now a dear memory, a sweet memory, a funny memory.  I know it was meant to be, but I always think... it was just so soon. 

I would have said, "I love you."  I know, I'm not the only one. 
My crazy, southern, Gamecock loving, tiny firecracker Aunt.
Thank you for everything you left us on earth.
Hope you are having a party in heaven.

In loving memory. 
Karen Killough Melvin