Sunday, August 10, 2014

hello monday- Total Head Case

h e l l o   m o n d a y

I had a great opportunity to spend some time on a rain weekend on a beautiful farm in Va.  Smith Mountain, VA anyone?  I had never heard of it either... I was able to learn a lot, but also meet some new people.  New people who don't know my story, don't care to judge me, some new people that I may never see again.  There was no apologizing for time alone, resting or sleeping in.  There was healthy, delicious food to enjoy.  Showers optional.  :)

I'm thinking why I've failed at creating the healthy habits that I been pursuing for so long.  I'm still processing.  However, I think I'm saying hello to some pretty big things this week.  


hello to being self aware of why I give up when I get discouraged.  Why am not able to keep trying through the rut, yes life keeps going, weight stays on my body, but what is my emotional connection in all of that?  

hello to saying out loud how afraid of failure I am, especially when it comes to my body.

hello to putting a plan in place.

Then I have two hellos unrelated...

hello to the last week before school starts.  It has been a very challenging summer, with saying goodbye to Kim, and a lot of what ifs, and possible changes.  I shut down in these moments.  This time I tried to just keep going.  I realize what I can and can NOT control.

hello to transition time.  transition to a new sitter, to a new grade level, to believing I can be successful in my weight loss. 

Obviously, I'm a total head case.  :)  It's a club, right?  

2 comments:

Msales said...

I see a woman who has named her struggle and now can look it squarely in the eye. Sounds like some important breakthroughs happened for you this summer and you are already beautifully using your new awareness to tackle the challenges ahead.

Courtney Crawford said...

Meka, please follow me around all day, and just remind me. :) thanks so much!