Loved First

"Tis not that I did choose Thee,

For Lord, that could not be;

This heart would still refuse Thee,

Hadst Thou not chosen me...

My heart owns none before Thee,

For Thy rich grace I thirst;

This knowing, if I love Thee,

Thou must have loved me first."

Josiah Conder, 1836

If you could be a fly on my car door at 6:30 am. Or a passerby on I-85 as I make my trek to work. You might be surprised to find an early morning worship service happening in my silver Tuscan and probably a tearful one.  It may be something about the morning, or the daily struggle I face working and being a mom, but it is also the overwhelming love that I realize the Lord has for me. My cry for help to persevere, and then my parallel amazement that He loves me so.  This great God, loves me. A broken, dissapointing, failing, cursing, angry, stressed out, sad, stubborn mom, teacher, wife, friend, you name it- I'm it. We all are, really.  It's admitting it that we must. Truth- when I realize how much I am loved, I also must accept my undeservedness, my faults, my need for His power to shake me. 

My morning worship service has recently included some new music. If you have heard these already you know how deep they are.  If you haven't maybe they can rock your heart too. A sweet friend going through a tremendous journey right now shared these songs with me. I am so thankful that I now know about them.

Oh How He Loves Us  "if grace is an ocean, we are all sinking"

Your Beautiful  "we’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
                           your bride will come together and we’ll sing... You’re Beautiful"

Beautiful Things "you make beautiful things,you make beautiful things out of the dust, you make beautiful things,  you make beautiful things out of us"

If I love Thee, THOU must have loved me first. My flawed self is so thankful that He loved me first.