Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Soul Time

It is evil to be sick in the summer time.  I am thankful that I do not have allergies.  I also have a great immune system, being surrounded by germs all the time.  My kids, however are still building theirs.  I can probably count on 1 hand the amount of times Nola has been sick.  Which is pretty good in your first year of life. 

This one has been tough.  She started out on our drive home from Charleston with a fever, last Thursday.  Two days of fevers- highest of 102.  Coughing off and on, teething upper side teeth (the more painful, apparently, I do not remember).  Today is Tuesday... For 6 days now, I haven't left the house, kids are both sick now... we've gone through sleepless nights, fevers, coughing, snotting on everything, and lots and lots of crying...  Serenity now.

Today the hubby is off work, and I am about to go do something all by myself.

That was yesterday, and I ended up going to get my brows cleaned up,  I hate doing them myself and my toes done!  Bright orange toes will be dusting the beach of Wilmington, NC next week!  I am so excited! Praying that my kiddos will be well and if they aren't that the saltwater and sunshine will heal them, along with a little family TLC. 

So, while I am sitting there, getting my toes done.  Watching this woman scrub these feet I walk on all day long.  I look at my phone only once, I do not read a magazine, I just sit there.  I try to let the massage chair do something to the stress that I have accompanied from this long week of crud.  Why is it so hard for me not to feel guilty?  What is wrong with me?  Why do we moms, do this to ourselves?  I have only been gone an hour and I start to make a list of all the things I should be doing with my kids, and wondering if my man has it all under control, or if he is cursing the ground I walk on.  With all that I do, all. the. damn. time.... 

I start to push the guilt away... yelling at it inside my head!  Stop!  You will not ruin my time alone, my kids are perfectly fine and happy.  My man has it all down pat and he probably cleaned the kitchen while he was at it!  Relax, enjoy.  You time.  All about you. 

And you know, when I got home I felt happier.  More joyful.  Elated and welcomed.  Seeing their little faces, knowing all was well, and I still fed my own soul for a bit.

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