There is more to me than just being a mom. Sometimes, however, I have to remind myself what they are. I love to read, and spend time with friends- seldom as that is. I am consumed with finding a way to stay at home with my kids-- oh that's a mom thing.
Its hard to be consumed with things are a massive part of you, but still remember who you are. Maybe that is because who I am has merely increased in love and laughter with the additions to my little family. They are an extention of who I am. So , how can I remember who I am without them, if they have made me stronger, wiser, and more patient?
Maybe there is a way to phrase it differently. How am I, me, to better my children? What is my core, my tree trunk, so that I branch out to better those around me? To be not only a mom that wipes snotty noses and cleans poop off of backsides, but a human that spreads love by greeting others with a smile.
If you know me, you know that I am truly devastated about being a working mom- I've gotten to the point that I don't want to talk about it because I feel as though people are tired of hearing it. But I feel resentful and angry, consumed by dissapointment. I am jealous of those who stay home, resent those that could stay home and choose not to. If I could just be in a different place, a different job... more money.
In attempts to remember my core, and not just my anger, I am focusing on my health. Setting goals to lose weight and get in better shape after 2 babies.
Taking better care of me, means taking better care of them.