Monday, July 21, 2014

hello monday... Fear

I think I'm pretty good with change.  Until a GINORMOUS change decides to rear it's ugly head.  Then, I am not so great.

look, I'm a fixer.  So here is what happens to me when CHANGE decides he is gonna act out.

fear... Fear sets in.  What am I going to do?  Why me? Why us?

sadness... Mourning the loss of the fabulousness that I had.  Sad that the CHANGE has come into my life at this point.

anger... WHAT if this had been different, then I wouldn't have to handle the change, find a place to put the change, make the change work out for me.

solve... Time to fix the things that the change broke.  I need to pick up all the glasses that fell down, glue the broken ones, and clean it all up.

Then I have to get used to way they look now, cause the change, well... it changed them.

SEE? It's hard.  I realized this time, by the end of all that, there is stuff about me that I thought I worked out before.  It resurfaces, and it stabs me a few more times.  I give it back to God, again and again.  Please, take this, take this struggle that I have, that I can only give to you.  Please, Jesus, please do not let me feel so much worry and pain.  Fix the broken pieces. Be the glue. Make the change, be the best thing for us.

so hello this week to...

change and asking for help

not letting the worry drown my ship

dealing with the broken pieces

being thankful for the miracles

trusting in the unseen, unknown, and even the unwanted.


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